kindness boomerang

Kindness boomerang

Today In Art hurumanu I have Edited my work and a buddy has to.

With this writing, it is a script about what I posted last time on my blog.

In period four the bell was about to ring for it to be lunchtime at 12.24. The sky was bright and it seemed to be a good day to be outside. Ring, ring, ring. The bell rang powerfully it seemed to be even louder than ever before, maybe it was because I sat closest to the door so that I could see Meadow, my best friend. Amber sat at a table across from me because we were talking about what I got for Meadow and the teacher moved us. As I wanted to escape from the sizzling room as rapidly as I could then finally Miss called my name to be let free. 

I hoped  Meadow will meet me towards the soccer posts were we always have a picnics with flowers and everything. The flowers are from when I walk to the soccer posts. Meadow always brings the blanket. When we do this the soccer players try and stay away. Meadow, I let slip out as I darted towards her trying not to slip on the wet school grass.  Those sunny days will not be the same again. 

The day was bright and sunny I Hoped Meadow will like the airpods I got her this time. The bell rang less hard than before. Meadow did not have time to open. It felt like it was only 5 minutes for lunch, is the teacher trying to split us? I was walking home with Meadow by my side we split at the fork in the road. Meadow opens her gift casually but fast. IT WAS AIRPODS!!!!! I wish it did not cost her too much.  

The next day Sylvie was in a panic she looked a wreck. I had a quick talk to her before we had to get into the class. She had nothing left I had the Airpods in my pocket so I gave them back it was hard to get her to take them back but I got to get them back. And from then on the back. And that day on Meadow gave back. Sylvie learned that is not the best way to show friendship by giving is not all ways the answer.

  

My buddy gave me feedback and feed-forward here is what she has said about my writing

I liked the way you made it easy to picture what is happening.

I liked the way you put your words made it more interesting.

Maybe next time you could make your sentences shorter.